Doctor Vysarius

10. A Ballet / We Hope You Will Be Staying With Us For A While

[The VALET turns to his weird master. VYSARIUS nods slowly, gravely. He produces a small wind-up rooster from the darkened folds of his cloak and hands it to the VALET, who moves directly in front of the throne, ceremoniously winds up the toy, and places it on the ground. It hops pathetically in circles before the emperor.]

MAXIMILIAN, watches it skip for a long time, frowns.
Alas, doctor, this is but a poor man’s skipping wobbly-cock.
I have seen this trick before.

[Suddenly, a dancer dressed as a ROOSTER leaps majestically into view. It dances for the courtiers, imitating the cocksure prancing of the animal.]

MAXIMILIAN.
Grand Dieu! It is a real live coo-coo-doodler!

[VYSARIUS waves his hands. The ROOSTER leaps away, only to be replaced by another dancer, this one dressed in the guise of a LION, padding, proud, across the stage, coming nearer and nearer the throne with lethal approach.]

Ack! Un lion! I am afraid! Protect me, Porkeo!

[PORKEO runs back on and leaps heroically to the emperor’s aid Wielding his jester’s bauble like a rapier, he attempts to fend off the LION. VYSARIUS waves his hand, and the clown is ripped away once more by an unseen force. The magician gestures to the LION, which slips away, replaced by another in the guise of a KITTEN, meowing intermittently. PORKEO crawls back desperately, finally hanging onto the emperor’s cloak for dear life.]

Ah! A kitten! What wonder! So fair, so lovely fair!
[noticing PORKEO] Get away, Porkeo, you brute!

[MAXIMILIAN smacks an already winded PORKEO away and some courtiers drag him off.]

[LEOPOLD crosses to the KITTEN and rips off its mask, revealing the human face of the dancer beneath.]

LEOPOLD.
My lord, it is a trick!

KITTEN.
. . . Meow?

[With a hellish sound, a shadow passes briefly over all and the KITTEN flees in terror, leaving only a toy rooster hopping flaccidly at the base of the throne.]

MAXIMILIAN, tearfully.
Mumsy?

[VYSARIUS points coldly to the toy. The VALET delicately takes it up, then, disgustedly, drops it into the emperor’s outstretched hands.]

LEOPOLD.
Sire?

MAXIMILIAN,
Out.

LEOPOLD.
But, Sire –

MAXIMILAN, shrieking.
Out!

[LEOPOLD looks desperately for aid, holds PORKEO’s gaze, who only shakes his head resignedly. Courtiers drag him off.]

MAXIMILIAN.
We hope you will be staying with us for a while.

[VYSARIUS nods. Lights go down, except for some infernal glow that smolders in the doctor’s eyes.]